Dr Cheyenne Bryant They Tried to Cancel Her — She Never Flinched

"Featured in Forbes, Oprah Magazine, PEOPLE, and USA Today — Dr. Cheyenne Bryant is one of the most recognized psychology experts in the world. And she chose the Living Proof Podcast to get raw."

She grew up in the hood. 
Two teenage parents. A mother battling a 30-year addiction.
 A father selling the drug she was using. 
No blueprint. 
No one ahead of her to follow.
And somehow she became the most sought after psychology expert and life coach in the world.
But this episode isn't just about her success.
It's about what she had to survive to get there.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant is a life coach, best-selling author, and psychology expert with global exposure sits down with Daeron Myers on the Living Proof Podcast for a raw, unfiltered conversation that will shake you.
She breaks down why she called off TWO weddings. 
Why a man calling himself ready to SERVE changed everything. 
Why toxicity is not a reason to leave a relationship. 
And why the people you serve the hardest are often the ones who come for you the hardest.

She talks about the comedian who attacked her for years — and what God did to him without her lifting a single finger.

She digs into what it really means to carry your cross when the people you're serving are the ones trying to crucify you.
This is not a feel-good episode.
This is a mirror.
If you've ever felt abandoned. 
Overlooked. 
Attacked by the same people you poured into — this episode is for you.

New book Live Your Promise available now wherever books are sold.

This one Hit Different
Dr B is definitely Living Proof…

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

A guy walked up to me, ring on his finger, and he said, Yo, Doc, like you saved my marriage. And I get that all the time, or you save my life, or you shift my mindset. Those are my real paychecks.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

What happened? Was it a heartbreak? What made you get so deep inside the Bible and say, listen, I need to figure this out?

SPEAKER_02 0:16

People always experience the God in me. If they don't experience anything else, it's the God in me. If people just understood the impact of just seeing somebody, pulling up their, those women were in tears. They were crying. They were amening, hallelujah. I mean, they were moved so much just by me seeing them. Toxicity is a part of a relationship. See, every shot you take toward me won't form. You missing. So they're pointless shots. This is why I'm not shooting back. Because I'ma miss shots at you.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

She turned into another man.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Come on, say it again.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

She, like, listen, I need to fill this void in this man. I feel like I'm not worthy of it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Whatever's meant to hit you, God gonna hit you with.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

You made a promise that you didn't want to be like anybody else.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

I'm about to live my promise. And the promise is now. I'm living in it. Can you see me? Because see, you've been penetrating my body. You've been seeing me naked. But can you see me vulnerably heart spaced new? But when I show you my wounds, I'm toxic. What are we really doing here?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Y'all family, what's happening? Listen, it's another episode of the Living Proof Podcast. I always say it. Today I got somebody special. Today I got somebody controversial. Today, I don't even know what I'm about to get out of her. But listen, I'm telling you, I always say it. Listen, this is where testimony meets transformation. This is the Living Proof podcast. We got the biggest, the baddest. We got the doc in the building. Miss Brian, how you feeling?

SPEAKER_02 1:48

I feel absolutely amazing. I'm here in DC. I done drilled through y'all traffic. I finally made it here. And uh I was looking forward to doing doing your pod. So excited, excited to be here. Let's see what we're gonna cook up. Let's see what we're gonna serve. I'm a guest. I'm just gonna eat what you provide.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

That's what's up. How are you feeling one to ten in this season of your life? Oh, 15.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

I'm living in God's purpose. I'm exactly who and where I've always wanted to be. Um and I just remember the days that who I am was uh a woman who I was like imitating, you know, in the mirror as a little girl. Um where I'm at is is the prayers and the dreams that I was trying to just calibrate an emotion around it. And now that emotion has uh transpired into a manifestation. And so, you know, not many people, you know, and I say this with the humility, have the honor of saying, look, when I wake up, I like I like who the fuck I'm looking at in the mirror. I like the way I'm serving my community and my people. And I waited, you know, my whole life to to do exactly this in the way that I'm doing it. Um, and so I love it. And, you know, the the folks who, you know, who are receiving it and able to, you know, I don't do it for a thank you. I don't do it for flowers. But when I'm getting the thank you, doc, when I see my the people outside and the fans are like, yo, you changed my life. We were just out at one of you guys' restaurants out here um in DC, and a guy walked up to me, ring on his finger, and he said, Yo, doc, like you saved my marriage. And I get that all the time, or you save my life, or you shift my mindset. Those are my real paychecks. Yes, I make good money, but my real wealth is when someone is telling me I shift or change your life. And that's when I know that I am in exactly the will of God where I'm supposed to be, um, which is just, you know, serving his sheep.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I love it. I love it. Listen, you got your, you know what I mean? I know you're popping right now. I know you for 15 because you got your face on your shirt and all that. What's this about?

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Y'all know that's a Dr. Brian merch. Forget that Dr. B merch, y'all. This one, this one will be out uh sometime in June.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

That's too much.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

So we're we were stocking up. Yeah, we've had this for a while, and this sold out twice immediately. It sold out online and in person on tour.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

So, dude, I should have put my face on it. Like, I'm wearing my pajamas in the face on it in the neighborhood. That's super nice. I want to dive into it because you said I am the girl who I always wanted to be. How was that growing up? Like, uh like what was your life like growing up? What were you what were your obstacles?

SPEAKER_02 4:20

You know, so I always say I we I grew up with an absolutely amazing, loving, tight-knit family who just was straight gangsters about each other. We didn't play about each other, we still don't. But our environment wasn't always the best, right? So the the trauma, the toxicity, the dysfunction that came in our environment wasn't just an environment that, you know, I said, look, we gotta shift this, we gotta change this, or or we have to remove ourselves from it because I didn't want to become a product of what I seen that environment could create. But I know, you know, pretty much I believe we all felt like that. It just happened to be me who um said, you know, I got to do things differently. I'm the oldest of seven. I'm the first grandchild. So there was nobody ahead of me or front of me to be like, yo, this is the blueprint, you know, of what to do. I just had a lot of obstacles and an environment that showed me exactly what not to do. I just want to talk to people who are in environments, who are in situations, who are in relationships that are like, look, I don't know how to get out of here. I don't know the blueprint to change, I don't know what different looks like. But what I do know is I need to get up out of this. I want you to know that sometimes, oftentimes, just removing yourself and knowing I need to get out of this, I need to remove myself from this environment, that is all you need to change the entire trajectory of your life. It's move. Faith is an action word. It's moving swiftly. It's saying, listen, I don't know where I'm going, but if I can get out of this, then maybe something magical can happen and God can begin to order my steps. Because sometimes what you're in and you know is not healthy for you, is clouding your ability to hear and have insight that God needs you to have so you know what steps that He's ordering for you. And for me, once I did that, I'm telling you, I uh it's like God blesses the bold. And once I said, nah, I'm gonna do it different. And I'm committing to it, and that commitment is to myself, God said, Okay, well then we're gonna do it different. And he ordered my steps and I moved swiftly and I didn't question it. I didn't say, Where's the staircase? I said one step at a time if that's what it takes. And he also made me understand that as I continue to put you in different positions and rooms, as I continue to expand your territory, there's gonna be a muscle you have to get up. There's gonna be weight you have to carry. There's a crown that comes with this, and that crown is heavy. Can you carry it? A lot of times we're praying for things that one or two things, once we get it, we don't want it, or we can't even sustain it. To whom much is given, much is really required. And God gives us things that we can sustain. So if he hasn't given it to you, it doesn't mean he forgot about you. It just means he needs you to get your muscle up. And in that muscle preparation between what you want and you receiving it, folks get real very weary and well doing. And the Bible tells you that don't get weary and well-doing. If you're doing well, trust the process. And if you have faith, you understand God's promises never return void. So what are we tripping off of? What are we wavering in? If you if you're at the bank to see the teller, as long as you don't get out the line, guess what? You're gonna be next at some point. But can you stay in line? Can you not waver? Can you stand on your square? Can you stand on the promises you know God gave it to you? Anyone who's been in adversity, which is majority of people of color, if God has removed you or gotten you out of that, that wasn't enough for him to convince you. I remember God telling me, How much more do I have to do to convince you that I got you? How much more? Your mom was in her addiction for 30 years. I've made her sober after 30 years. You were an inner city girl, a product of being in the hood, two teenage parents. I took you from the hood to the hills. How much more? How much more do I gotta do to convince you that I'm the Alpha the Omega? I'm omnipresent. My promise is always deliver. What more do you need? And I said, you know what? Nothing. Nothing. You never have to worry about me questioning you. So when I question people, when the outside chatter gets loud, my only affirmation is I don't know what's going on, but I trust you. I don't, if I don't know anything else, I know that I trust you. And that's enough to carry me through. And if I feel like I can't walk through or be carried through awake, I do like Jesus and I sleep through the storm.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

I don't know because if it's Sunday, you preaching and teaching, but I don't know. Is this what got you feeling good? Because you coming out the gate with this.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

No, it's just what I'm telling when you it's just in you, it ain't on you, huh? You go.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

You done did so much self-work.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

And it's yes, self-work, but it's really more, and I feel like what I'm about to say is gonna sound so, you know, cliche, but it's not. It's so much of really not just knowing and meditating on God's words. When I say faith is an action word, it's trusting. See, when you the Bible says be anxious for nothing and make your request be known to God. That anxiety part is what we all feel when we are in unknown territory. But unknown territory just means you have advanced. God is here to expand and give territory. It also says to have dominion, to possess it, not to ask for it. So the territory that I'm given, I'm not asking nobody. My obedience is to God, not to y'all. I'm not asking you, can't I occupy a territory that God gave me? And if you want to make an uproar about it, baby, please just speak louder. Just speak louder. Because you got to understand that oftentimes the devil will have the people that you serve be the ones that attempt to crucify you. Why do I say that? Because Jesus served the church. And the church is who set him up for crucifixion. Judas was his his his disciple. The priest paid Judas 30 coins to set Jesus up, for the Romans to be able to identify him to take him to crucifixion. So the church, the people he was serving, the folks he died for set him up. So why is it that when we are serving a community, our sheep know our voice, and they turn into woof in sheep clothing to bite us back, to attempt to crucify us, we get so personal. See, the Bible gives you stories and it gives you principles so that it prepares you so that when you enter into that season, you know exactly what to do. So when people are attempting to crucify me, even if it's the exact same people that I'm serving, I know how to carry my cross, which is called being Christ-like. I'm not expecting my disciples to never cross me. Jesus told Judas, my boy, my boy, you gon' you gonna deceive me. Oh no. So Judas was already the treasure of the disciples. He was already stealing money. So when Jesus said, This is what you're gonna do, in my perspective, he's telling you, I'm only speaking on what I know, and never told Judas, my boy, you kicked out of the disciples. You gotta go. He said, No, no, stay. And whatever you're gonna do, do it quicker. Get on it. And gave him rope after rope, after rope, after rope. He gave him so much rope that Judas hung himself. He committed suicide. So what I'm saying is, my job is not to do anything but give you rope and to carry my cross and not to carry yours or not put my burdens on you. Because the same people who crucified Jesus, I love this part, was also the same people that witnessed him be resurrected. I'll make your enemies your footstool. So our only job here is to be happy and to serve God if that's what you believe in. Because I don't want to project my beliefs on anybody. But when you are in those two things, you're in the will of God. That means weapons will form, but they won't prosper. So why are we tripping again? That was his promise. It'll form don't mean the gun won't go off, don't mean triggers won't be pulled. Triggers are gonna be pulled. Like me, I'm here to trigger people. I'm here to disrupt dysfunctional patterns. So triggers are going to be pulled. But God already promised me that the bullet won't prosper. So get trigger happy if you if you if you may.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

That's a fact.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Get trigger happy if you may.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

But I'm just trying to, I'm trying to like really wrap my my brain around it because it's like you, this girl in the inner hood, right? Mom addiction, pops.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Selling the drug that she was using.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

You know what I mean? Pops out there, like what happened? Was it a heartbreak? What made you get so deep inside the Bible and say, listen, I need to figure this out. Like, cause it's a little girl out there who's in the hood, mom on addiction, dad not around, or dad doing whatever. She's not turning to the Bible. She trying to, she turned into another man.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Come on, say it again.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

She she like, listen, I like I need to fill this void in this man. I feel like I'm not worthy of that.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Now you cook and keep going.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

I'm just trying to figure out what was you. Was it heartbreak? What was going on?

SPEAKER_02 13:02

She turns to another man, she turns to the street, she can turn to drugs, alcohol, she turns to being over sexualized or promiscuous. Unfortunately, some women turn to sex trafficking. It's a lot of things, you're right, that they can turn to because their heart becomes hardened. And and they do the things that are more heartless, and they do the things that are in alignment with I don't believe I'm worthy. So I'm gonna continuously show up in circumstances that prove my self-fulfilling prophecy that I'm not worthy. Because abandonment and neglect create that type of shame and that kind of false narrative in young men and young women when they are dropped or neglected by the wrong people who were supposed to carry them.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

What are these the feelings that you felt? So I felt abandoned.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

I was abandoned. I never felt the shame.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

I never felt the guilt. What I felt was why. I felt anger. I felt I felt deceived. I felt this is not what I thought it would be. I had a lot of whys, and I took all that to God at like literally like at seven, eight years old. And just literally took that to God. My family was always into church. We were Catholic at that time. Okay. We we were Catholic at that time. And so church and praying was something that I was taught as a young girl. You know, the Lord's Prayer, the Hail Mary's, and all that. And just, you know, I all I can say is God's grace because as a young girl, I don't didn't have the insight to know where or how I knew um to turn to God. But I turned all of my frustration. I was mad at God. I had questions. And I remember him as clear as we're talking, saying to me, uh, the only way that I can get you to really understand the magnitude of what's going on with your mother is to have you experience it. And I love you too much to do that. And I said, No, I'm good. I just knew at a young age I don't want to experience that. I I see the stronghold. Now I'm good. And so, to your point, it was the the excruciating heartbreak of the abandonment that said, Well, I have no siblings ahead of me. I'm the oldest. I have nothing but adults around me. Um I need answers. And and and although the the adults around me were absolutely loving and amazing and in all and meant well, um I knew they didn't have the answers I needed, because if they did, they would have not been in the environment we were in to begin with. And so I started to seek. I started to seek answers. I started to not lean on my understanding, and I just needed to know bigger and I needed to know more. And I knew that the type of of big fish I was going to become was gonna take some heavy lifting. And I knew that I would be, um, I knew the Bible says the deep calleth the deep. And I already knew at a young age that the deep had calleth me. And I knew I had to get from the shallow to the deep. And in between there, I knew it was gonna be a journey. But it was a journey that I knew I'll put my head, my head up, shoulders back, and we were just gonna have to run whatever play it took to get there. I've always been determined and tenacious. And my parents did a great job of raising me with a backbone on vertical and and confidence that just can't be wavered. But that's also God's backing, that's God's alignment. Because in my mind, I always have something to fall on, and that's God. And He's bigger than anything to me. So I don't have a deficit in bigness. If that I may have a lot of deficits, but it's not in bigness. So yes, it was definitely the heartbreak of saying, How do I do this? I don't want my heart to harden. And when God gave me God's peace by taking my brokenness and making peace from it, I was like, There's no way I'm the only one that can get to this place. Like, there's too many of us within our black community that look like me, that are me, that experience the things I've experienced. And I'm not gonna gatekeep these principles. I'm going to give them as much as I give them at the gas station. I was giving them before I even got into my my life coaching private practice. I was doing them all through my my school. Like that's just what how I've always been. Paying things forward um with the principles, with money if I'm somewhere. It doesn't matter. It's service is big to me. Um and so, and then I took those principles and put them in my first book, Mental Detox, which is a bestseller, and then I put them in my my book now that um that launches March 12th, which is Live Your Promise. Um, and these are just tools that I've used. They're not things I just read a book that have really changed my life and allowed me to be um, you know, just a thumbprint of God. And I'll land on this. My hopes is that people always experience the God in me. If they don't experience anything else, it's the God in me.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Nah, for sure. I'm I'm I'm feeling it already. I'm like, if I'm thinking back and I'm looking at it, I'm like, all right, seven, eight years old, you went to God, right? You made a promise that you didn't want to be like anybody else, this community, this family, right? So this is how this book was really written when you were seven or eight. Like you were like, listen, I'm about to live out my promise.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

That's it, that's it.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Yes, that's it. I'm about to live my promise. And the promise is now. I'm living in it. And this is why this was the perfect time for me to write Live Your Promise. Mental Detox. My book before this was about me in my journey of detoxing still and doing the work. And I'm still the work is always forever being done. You're never done doing the work. Ever.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Forever finish line. It's like a moving finish line. You thought you got there, some things gonna test you. You're gonna be like, dang. I just had that the other day. I was like, listen, I'm good. I'm the anger and all that, something tested me, and I said, Oh, I got some more work to do. You're not there yet. You not love that. I love what was working. I love that. You stopped going to those groups, you stopped reading those books because you thought you was good, you thought you arrived. And it's like you never arrived there. It's forever. You always gotta be working on it, you always gotta be crafting it. So, doc, I need you to help this young girl out because it's a lot of young girls in the hood right now.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

You was in that community, you in that environment. How do you remove yourself?

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I'm a product of a street dude.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Right. How do you remove yourself and not feel guilty though? Like, some people they feel guilty. Like I moved out of there.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Like survivor's remorse?

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Correct. How do you not feel guilty? Like, what was that first show? How did you get out of that?

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Yeah, I think for me, not feeling guilty is me giving back so much.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Like I we just did a we had a um a show in New York. Okay, and my assistant, uh Ian and I went to East Harlem for projects. Eight o'clock at night. I'm there, Rolex on chain. Um, and they called me. You know, just saying, but I went, but this is but this is the comfortability of even though I'm in the hills, no longer in the hood anymore, the comfortability of being in the hood. I didn't think, let me take off the Rolex, let me take no, like it's it's home for me. It don't matter how high on the hill I build my mansion.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

Like down there in the valley is where I come. That's home for me. And I'm proud. It'll always be home. Um, but going there, and they called us the last minute. Literally, they called us, I think, two hours headed wherever we were going to another event. And he says, Doc, you know, the ladies found out you're here and want to know, can you come speak to them? I said, Well, where are we going? He said, We're going to East Harlem and the projects. I said, We're going to the hood. We're going to the hood. I said, shoot, put 90 on the on the gas. Let's go. And he was like, All right, all right. I said, Yeah, absolutely. Hell yeah. Like, let's go. And even me, you know, pulling up there, if, you know, if people just understood the impact of just seeing somebody, pulling up there, those women were in tears. They were crying. They were amening, hallelujah. I mean, they were moved so much just by me seeing them, not realizing that them seeing me was equally feeding me, was equally what that little girl in me needed. Was, no, I want to give you all of what I got within my capacity. And so, you know, we were able to go and feed. And I think giving back to where you came from and what made you, it really, for me, at least, helps with being of service and not having that, you know, survivor's remorse because everybody's surviving something. Even us who think we made it, we all surviving something I'm carrying across in my journey now to make sure that I am in alignment with God's will and not allowing outside chatter to waver me, not allowing outside chatter to never sink my ship, but to get Get me out of character to where I end up speaking from my flesh, speaking from my who the fuck you talking to? And not speaking from my hill self and my God self that says, okay, you know, although you slay me, yet still I trust you, God. Yet will I still show up in in in in service to you? Even if people are trying to crucify me and they are the main people I'm serving. Can I not waver in that? Because the God in me ain't gonna waver. I'm gonna carry my cross and let you witness it. Because I know at the end of this there's resurrection. But the human in me may want to put the cross down, mix you real quick, and then after I mix you, tell you, now you carry my cross. You carry my cross. How that feel?

SPEAKER_00 22:49

You you you better than me. Like, I don't know how you put that. You I don't know what type of spiritual thing that you on, but I I need that because I was just uh, you know, I was just looking at the the Joe Budden podcast and all the backlash. It's like I don't know how you don't pull out the gate. Like, who the who were you talking to? But it's like your energy is like unbothered. It's like for what? God got me.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Period. Right. And God gave me this territory. So guess what? If it ain't yours, you can't possess it. Because I can't miss what's mine. See, every shot you take toward me won't form. You missing. So they're pointless shots. This is why I'm not shooting back. Because I'ma miss shots at you if they're not meant to penetrate. Whatever's meant to hit you, God gonna hit you with. And I get to witness it. So I don't mind waiting and being still and knowing how my God moves. He has showed me, and he don't have to prove to me anymore. He has, listen, and I I don't like, um, you know, I'm not gonna say the name on purpose, but you know, there was a comedian that was coming for me for years, and I'm not saying his name, and if you know, please don't say it, because I don't want to bring his name up. Uh I don't want to glorify him. But he was coming after me for for years, okay, with all kinds of stuff. Fake doctor, lesbian, I mean, it was just crazy, right? And I just sat back a couple years. Just recently, God exposed him. God exposed him. He got he denied, he lied, like he was doing with me, putting his hands on a woman about a year ago. God all of a sudden brings up the video of him slapping and smushing this woman. And sorry to this to this woman that this happened to, but slapping and smushing this woman. Took his whole career out. Completely canceled. I didn't have to cancel him. All I had to do was continue to do what I do. See, I could have spit back, hit back, did a whole video, came on. I could have gone on Breakfast Club and went crazy about this guy. I could go on any platform. I've been on the biggest platforms. I can just revisit those platforms and say, Let's unopen this. Why? I'd be glorifying that. And that those little bitty punches that I would have taken would have hit him. But God could take him out. And not that that was my prayer, but I let God do what he does.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

God destroyed him.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

And and I said, Ooh, God. And God said, Who's your daddy? I said, You ain't gotta question me. I already told you. Listen, I'm I'm waiting in the dugout until you call me up to the plate, batter up. I'll wait in the dugout. And just sing my baseball songs. Hey, better better. Hey, better better. It's easy for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

I feel like you mishandled. Like, I feel like people don't respect you. I feel like for some reason, like you're misunderstood. Like, why do you think people don't like some people don't like you? I mean, it's a lot of people that love you.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

But for some reason, like it seems like to get to the forefront and online and in the social media space, they show the people that gotta say something about you. Why you why do you think people feel that way?

SPEAKER_02 26:01

Again, you know, I don't, I think that, um, well, I don't think I know that people have, you know, the highest regard of respect for me. And that, you know, there's many people that love my work, that, you know, love my principles. But I also know that there are groups of people who are set out not to like certain folks, you know, just in general. And I always tell people this remember, if you have to convince someone to like you, that's the first time that you convince them. But after that, you're gonna spend the rest of your life convincing them to continuously like you. Because who don't like you don't fucking like you. So your job is not to convince the unbelievers, your job is to rally with and around your village. I'm not getting my village together to say, let's go knock door to door by the folks who don't believe and the folks who don't like me and convince them. And we're gonna make this a lifestyle. Because if you want to convince someone to like you, you will have to continuously do it over and over again. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it on my watch. And I don't care how you feel about me because every day that I wake up, I actually love the fuck out of myself. And that's one of my best gifts. So you cannot like me as long as you respect me when you see me, and I don't have to go into self-defense mode because you that's a smoke you don't want. You know, I keep a team around me, I keep, you know, assistants and and family members who who are very protective and don't play about me. And so it won't be an easy move if that's what you know, if that is the action you take. You can have your comments, you can have your opinions. Um, those actually feed and catapult everything I'm doing. Because what happens is oftentimes the the the negative chatter has brought people to me that didn't even know who I was. At all. It is the best free marketing that I have ever experienced. Ever experienced. And so I would like to say, like Jesus told Judas, can you hurry up? Can you keep it up? And can you just speak a little louder? As a matter of fact, I want to end on this because I don't know if Jesus said this part, but if not, I want to say to them, thank you. I am grateful, I am so grateful. Because the moment that y'all stop speaking, you know, it'll be the moment that I have to start paying for marketing. And I don't like to pay for too much. So keep it going, baby. Keep it going.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

I feel like people just hate people that that love themselves.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

One.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

It's a battle with themselves. Like it's a lot of people out here who they can't deal with themselves. So now that you're confident, now you walking around like who she thinks she is. They don't like that type of energy because now I gotta look at myself and be like, I'm not doing enough.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Come on. And and people like, not all, but those groups of people we're referring to, remember, they like to prey on people's weakness and downfalls. They need a very malleable backbone. But when someone can't be influenced, for independent people who have a some narcissistic characteristics, because you can have characteristics of something and not be it, they need you to break or fold. Because remember, that gives them power. And when they see you're unbreakable, at some point, just like the devil has done with with Job and a lot of different people in the in the Bible, he flees. When he sees I can't break what's over here, he's like, ah, I gotta go over here because this ain't breaking. Let me just go over here. So the best thing you can do is not get weary and well doing, and is to be a sturdy oak, like the Bible talks about. Because again, God never said weapons wouldn't form, He just said they wouldn't prosper. So that's why Jesus, in his very confident self, slept through the storm. Because my boy said, I mean, this is the weapon. But my God said it won't prosper. So I'm going to bed. And I'ma wake up. And if the storm is still here, I'll have me a little, I'm thinking coffee, a little Danny. She probably had on the boat, whatever they had in them, going back to sleep. Now maybe, you know, me, I may go run a mile or two. I may take a trip. Maybe that's my sleep. Or I may post something that indirectly says, please run it up more. I'ma, you know, I may antagonize a little bit, troll a little bit. But again, yeah, but again, you know, it's just really about, like you said, when you're solid in who you are and you don't waver, people don't like that. You know, we live in a society that's not just capitalists with money, but they're capitalists with their opinion and the little bitty power that they have. Capitalists meaning if I can overpower you in your decisions and get you to waver, then I may not have made money. But to them, they made some type of riches that they can't even take to a bacon cash. You can't do nothing with it. It only benefits the person that they are attempting to uh, you know, project on because it inflates that person. And someone who can withhold that that weight and use it to work for them, which God says everything's working for your good. So use it to work for you. If it's if you could use it as free marketing, if you could use it to drive them to what you're selling, if you use it to drive them to, you know, what you're speaking or your message, are you serving people? By all means, that's what you should be using it for. God gives you things, and your job is to figure out, well, how do we use this God to serve the better good and run that play?

SPEAKER_00 31:42

How do you get to helping? I want to rewind it a little bit because how in the world did you get to helping people in their relationships? What made you say, This is what I want to do? Who broke your heart?

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Um, no, no one broke my heart. I think it's more of I am a relationship person and I love relationships. Like absolutely love relationships. Um and so me helping people is more about helping them get out of their own way. Because happy people make happy relationships, healthy people make healthy relationships, and the opposite is the same as well. And so it's not about me teaching you all how to be together, it's teaching me how to get out of your own way so you can be together. So you can be happy. Because I can't teach you how to be together. That is something that two couples commit and curate and agree to on their own, right? I just teach you how to get through or past your trauma, how to stop self-projecting, how to become solid and happy as a man. I teach her how to maybe deal with her mommy or daddy issues that continuously, you know, insert themselves into your relationship. I teach her the difference between when her trauma is talking to you and when her healthy self is talking to you, when the little girl has shut up in the relationship or the grown woman is present. And so it's more about teaching those things and showing people that relationships are not meant to be perfect or easy, but they can be loving and they can be healthy and they can be from a place of security. And so I love love, love relationships. I love fusing, I love connection. Um, and so, you know, honestly, I think that I have found that me helping others in their relationship has also gave me a place and a way to connect and fuse and be able to provide and project the love that I have onto other people and the nurturing that I love to do. I'm able to nurture my clients, I'm able to love on them and just help me get to where they want to be and not where I want them to be.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Gotcha. You in a relationship?

SPEAKER_02 33:40

No.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Why not?

SPEAKER_02 33:41

Um, because I haven't found anyone I want to commit to. I mean, I've caught off two weddings. No, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

All these nah nah nah nah nah.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

You're gonna say all these men. I'm just okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

I'm looking at you. Ain't bad. It's it's some book of looks out here. You ain't bad looking. I know the DMs is popping. What's going on, dog?

SPEAKER_02 34:03

I like people. I just ain't like nobody enough to want to spend the rest of my life with them. Two women? And too many of y'all. What you like, too many of y'all are liking y'all.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

Who is y'all?

SPEAKER_02 34:16

You can conclude yourself if you need to.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Who men?

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Too many of y'all, men and women, are liking people. Okay, loving people, marrying people, having children with people, just to say a few years later, not even 25 years traditionally, like old folks used to say together on time. A few years later, you know, I've decided I don't like you no more. After a child in marriage, you mean to tell me you couldn't take your time liking a little longer so you can make a better decision? So y'all rushing into things, you're not taking your time, so you end up doing time. Don't try to put that that time bit on me. I'm good. I don't have any kids. I'm I beat all the statistics coming from the inner city. I'm not a baby mama. I have not created a broken family or a broken home. So my decision-making results show for themselves. Don't put me in your pool and say, Why haven't I? Let me ask you why I have all y'all jumped the ship too soon. Just for you to get out there and scream, help. Help, you didn't have to jump ship. You had your own ship. You jumped from a ship to an inflatable mini boat asking for help. And of course, help is always available. I think everyone deserves grace and mercy and a shift or a different change or new principles to make a better decision. But no, I'm on the boat and I'm gonna help, but you're not gonna pull me down there. So I can look at you, look at me, and say, okay, how we gonna get help together? No, I waited to be of age. I wanted to have my career, I want to be economically stable, I wanted to have something to offer my husband and my kids more than just, oh, hey, you know, mommy and daddy, you're a mistake, but we're gonna do the best we can. No, and I'm not having my children in a deficit. A deficit is not just financial, a deficit is we don't have a full-fledged home here. Your father is not in this home. Or, you know, your mother is not in this home. Or there's things that I can't give you because I don't know them yet. Because I haven't had the experience. Words don't teach experience, does. And you know, we can teach what we know, but we create who we are. So I'm gonna create who I have built myself to be. And my job as a mother is to make sure I prepare not just for some husband, but for motherhood in my child. And the best thing I can do is give them lived experiences, not just money, but my presence. And me saying, I worked my ass off so we can have a different environment and lifestyle than mom did. To me, that is what makes a great parent. Is making good decisions before you decide to bring another little human in here. Who is not gonna know how to navigate anything is gonna depend on you for your decision making. And when uh when parents have kids and the parents don't make great decisions, we create generational curses and dysfunctional pathologies. And here we are in our community trying to undo all of those. So the question isn't why am I not married? The question is why have so many people jumped the gun so quick just to create generational pathologies and curses for us to unfix.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

I ain't gonna lie, I hate you right now. I ain't even gonna hold you. I ain't even gonna hold you. You ain't gonna come in here and be all intelligent like that. Let's talk about why. You made it sound good. You think you ready now?

SPEAKER_02 37:40

I am ready, and I'm so excited. I am You ready?

SPEAKER_00 37:43

I am Dang, the third time of charm.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Like I know a dude about charm. I'm not only I know a dude about 6'4.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

He got a bed too. That's that's the type.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

6'4 and he got a bed.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

In the league. Beard.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

Oh, a beard. Okay, well, is he out of prison? Did he get himself together? Because you know he could be renewed by the transformation of his mind now. You know, and you know he might be gotta be, but uh, oh god, you said he got a beard.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

Six foot on the bed. That's what it's like.

SPEAKER_02 38:17

I like taller to beard. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Playing the league. You open?

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Oh man, he's traveled so much. I want I want more of a relationship. We can spend more time together.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

What the doc one? What's the what's the perfect thing to Doc wants?

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Plays in the league just means he has a contract, but does he have substance? Because he can't buy my love. I have money. I have substance.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

So what you looking for?

SPEAKER_02 38:38

And I want him to be economically stable. You know, hear me clear. But um, I can't I don't want just someone who I know can pay for things. I want to know that, you know, he can create safety, that he can love on me, that we can have intimacy, that we can have conversation, that he can be my go-to, that I can nest in him, that he can lead us, that he knows how to be the neck and he understands the head and he understands what the neck does, you know, biblically. Um and I always say the head has, you know, the ears and the mouth and the eyes. Y'all have the mouth because you guys are consuming things. As the neck, we are swallowing for you. When that didn't sound right, but you got it. But you guys have the ears and you hear things, you have eyes so you can have vision. All that gives you leadership. And when you all have that, you are guiding us. And when you guide us, meaning we consume what you guide, we then can tell you where to move. That is a partnership. And as your rib, I'm protecting your organs. Your organs is what gives you life. Without your rib, you can't even hold your arms up. You couldn't even stand up. So I protect your life after we give you life. Okay, I'm back.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

What you want? What you looking for? Because I know a dude 6'5, he's working at Foot Locker. I mean, he he he's stable. He's at home. He comes home with anything.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

It's it's simple. A really good family man. What if you work at Foot Locker?

SPEAKER_00 39:58

You don't give him a chance?

SPEAKER_02 39:59

A really good family man.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Oh, you don't give him a chance.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

If he works at Foot Locker?

SPEAKER_00 40:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

Um, I mean, does what what's his capacity there? Can he provide a great quality of life? And lifestyle is different than great quality of life.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Lifestyle means he has to come in and pay for the lifestyle I've already created. That's not what I'm saying. A great quality of life is something him and I agree to. Like this is a great quality of life for us collectively, not just for me, not just for him. Can he provide that? So it there's not a asking a dollar amount is so superficial. And I I really hate when people ask, what's a dollar amount? Not that you ask that, but what's a dollar amount? Because there is no dollar amount. It's can he provide a quality of life that's good with whatever dollar amount he makes? And I say this relationships that get you indoors that money can never. That's a fact. So what if my man has less money in a shitload of relationships? And so we are never in a drought because he can call the executive for NBA and we're courtside. He can call his good college buddy who works for NFL. And now we got seasoned tickets whenever we want to go. He can call his buddy who works abroad in London, and we can stay in his buddy's condo, right? That's relationships. So again, I think folks get really mixed up when they try to pinpoint he needs to make one million dollars and he needs to do it like this. Okay, sis, but what if his million dollars are all locked up in investments? And so y'all can't take trips for the next five years.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

But women not thinking like that.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

But that but this is what I just said earlier on when you asked me what was taking me so long, and I said, Well, why is it that everybody's moving so fast? Why don't you wait till you think in a way that can calibrate something that can actually be steadfast, that can actually last, so that you're not getting into relationships going, this is what I pray for, but this ain't what I want.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

But I think it's protection too, though. Like grandma and them, they they they put a lot of pressure on these women. You need to find a man, you need to get married.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

But grandma and them.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Life is different from now.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Grandma and them was wives. Let's talk about it. If you want to go there, no, that's a fact. They was wives, they knew how to carry weight. They knew how to carry your weight. They backbone was sturdy. Looked like it was gonna break when they bent over, but that thing never broke. They dealt with a lot of shit. They were domesticated, they knew how to keep certain things in-house, in pillow talk.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

That's a fact.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

They didn't have social media to put a picture up and talk about what her husband is doing when it's your husband. That is your pillow talk. That is not public conversation. So grandmas was different women. And so was grandpa. Now, the issue I have with marriage in married people, or even divorced folks, whoever, is usually divorcees will come out and tell the truth after this. Let me go back. With not all, but a lot of married people are some, they're not telling the truth about what grandma had to go through. Because, see, the modern wife still has to go through similar things as grandma. Marriage hasn't changed that much. It's just now society has taken these quick fixes and made people believe if your marriage ain't fixed in one, two, three, then guess what? Throw the whole man away. If she's not doing it like A, B, C, she's not a wife. But it doesn't talk about how cleaving sometimes takes five, 10, 15, 20 years. Bishop Jakes said, Me and my wife been married, I don't know if he said 30, 40 something years. He said, You know how many years it took us to cleave? He said it took us 10, 15 years just to cleave. And then there's certain seasons that come in that make you have to cleave again. So what he said was, you have to stay until the love comes back, until the light comes back, until all that comes back. The only thing that I should never have to come back is a commitment. Because a commitment is doing what you said you would do, regardless of how you feel. So the only thing you have to stay true to in obedience is that commitment because your feelings are going to waver. And the only way to get a long-term marriage is to never leave. Is to never leave. That's a fact. Because the only way it's over is if you leave. And again, because folks will watch this and people get so sensitive and so literal, I'm not saying to stay and abuse. Let's use common sense, y'all. I'm not saying stay in abusive relationships. I'm saying if there's no abuse, y'all have to learn to work shit out. And see, I was a woman who I had a cap on how much and how long I'm gonna work it out.

SPEAKER_01 44:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

So this is why I'm happy I waited until now I have better wisdom, like I am saying grandma did. I'm not marrying you now to say, listen, I only have a tolerance of 2% for having to tell you over and over again to take the trash out. The trash? We ain't talking about this man abusing you. Listen, I'm only gonna tell you two or three times that I don't like the way you do X, Y, and Z. These are conversations you knew you were having before you married this man. There's just some things I believe in this new culture of women and men that we have to realistically learn about that is a part of marriage. I want to hit on this before you go into your next question. Like this toxicity thing. Every relationship every healthy relationship has some level of toxicity. I'm not saying toxicity means you have to be screaming or yelling, or we're not even talking about emotional abuse. I'm saying toxicity. Toxicity could be in silence. My behavior could be toxic. My energy could be toxic. It doesn't have to do with anything I say. So folks are saying, oh, this person too toxic. Okay, but all the last five were too toxic for you. Toxicity is a part of a relationship. Loving somebody and giving them every part of you, you think they're not gonna see the little boy in you who was hurt, confused? You think they're not gonna see the trauma in you sometimes? You think you're not gonna see her show up as an insecure woman because her daddy issues might be inflamed in that moment? So she's toxic for showing you vulnerability? The fuck is going on here? At what point am I safe with you? At what point can I show you my wounds? At what point can I just superwoman and say, look, man, I know I know I'm beautiful and I'm gorgeous. I know I got a fat ass. I know it all look good, but in here, I'm hurting. I'm lost, I'm scared. And I need you to facilitate me. And I don't even know how to tell you to do it. Can you see me? Because see, you've been penetrating my body. You've been seeing me naked. But can you see me vulnerably heart-space nude? Like, like what's up? What are we doing here? Casually, I'm letting you go raw on me. You busting nuts in me. But when I show you my wounds, I'm toxic. So what are we really doing here? Who's really safe here? Because I'm not safe because you got a good stroke. And most women ain't even satisfied from it. I'm safe because I know you can hold my heart with fragility. I can open up to you about things that I'm unsure about. I don't feel judged in your presence when I tell you I'm fucked up right now. You don't stonewall me or leave me because it's too much for you to handle. And when we're both confused and we just need to hold each other, we can sit in that silence and feel safe in that together. That's what relationships are about. They're not just about penetrating my body. Are you getting a good nut? That is what casual sex is about. That is what a one-night stand is about. That's not what they're about. That's why I love relationships. Because the little girl in me wants to open up and say, Do you see how hurt I was? Do you see the journey of my healing? The little girl in me wants to jump up and down like a little high schooler and be playful and jump on you and wrestle with you and love on you. I want to throw a shoe across the room and be like, what now? And I want you to turn around and be like, girl, what's wrong with you? I want all that. I want all that. And after that, after all of my moving parts feel safe, then I want you inside of me. Because then the last thing that I'm trying to figure out is if he can make my body orgasm. Because I've already had probably 200 of them within the safety that you created for me. So now you don't have to act me to make love to you. You don't have to poke your penis against me every morning when you're spooning me. Because I will be throwing my pheromones at you. I will be wanting and can't wait for you to be inside of me intimately. Totally different types of people, levels of relationships, and levels of intimacy and ecstasy. So when you ask me, what am I looking for? And why am I single? All of what I just told you right now, not too many men can hold space or facilitate that.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

And when a man can, you won't have to ask me why I'm single. Your no, it's not because he has a contract or a big penis or any of that. Your no is because that Negro showed up for me. He sees me. The little girl in me is safe, and the grown ass woman in me is safe. And that man is a man that I can nest in. And the God in him is who is loving the hell out of me. I don't want a human to love me. If I can't experience the God in my man, I don't want it. Because the only thing that can create that level of safety is a man who is getting that from the source of God. Because there's things that I've been through that a man on his own without God will never understand. Could never facilitate. So guess what? Until then, I'm okay with being God's bride. I'm okay with that. And I think more women and men, if they're in that space, they will calibrate freedom and not incarceration, not only in their marriage, but in their life.

SPEAKER_00 50:58

I'm gonna keep my dick to myself. I ain't gonna lie to you. I see what's going on here. Fellas, keep your dick to yourself. I'm being real with you. There's a whole lot of women you got to deal with. And when she breaks it down, sweetheart, I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 51:14

That's too much.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

If you ain't got that capacity, sweetheart, I'm good. Wow. That's just crazy, man.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

That's just crazy.

SPEAKER_02 51:23

And then it will definitely have the little boy in men go, I can't handle that. Because a grown man is gonna say, Well, damn it, woman, where you been? Where you been? I've been waiting for someone I can hold. You know, I I I asked a guy uh uh the other night who is attempting to um pursue me. I said, because he was saying he, you know, he's ready for marriage, he's ready.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

I said, attempting to pursue. What do he say for real?

SPEAKER_02 51:48

I don't know, but he's fine.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

What do he say for real? I need to know what he's saying.

SPEAKER_02 51:55

He's of age. And so I said, I got a question. I said, what makes you say you are so ready now to be married? Right? Not in the past, but now. And he said, because I have so much to give a woman. And oftentimes I feel like I'm like suffocating in all of what I have to give her. I thought he's ready. Why? Because marriage is a service position. That's all it is. That man said, because I'm ready to serve my wife. He didn't say because I've been working my ass off, because he's, you know, he does well and I'm I'm ready to have someone in the home. I'm ready to have a woman who can be domesticated, who can cook, I'm ready for a partner. Everybody, I'm ready for a partner. Okay. No, he didn't say a partner, he said, I'm ready to serve. Serving your woman. The Bible says husbands and wives submit onto one another. There's nothing more sexy than a man serving. And if y'all are the head, that means that y'all are leading.

unknown 52:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

That means that we reflect and mirror to you what you give to us. Because your sperm meets our egg and we fertilize it. You bust in us, we make a pig. You give us a house, we make a home. You submit to us, we will submit to you like you have never in your life ever been submitted to. That's what a leadership in a man says. A woman reflects her man. You can tell when a woman is loved down. You can tell because that man sits vertical in his chair like a king. Because he has queened her. That's his rib. He covers her. We're tucked in, y'all. Y'all cover us with your flesh, with your arm, with everything. We in your wing. And so when a man moves in with that kind of motion, us women, we tuck, dip and roll with what y'all lead us to do. And so when he said serve, I said, Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

I turned the doc on. He came right. Listen.

SPEAKER_02 54:12

But boy. And then not say nothing else to me, girl.

SPEAKER_00 54:17

Fellas, y'all better take it. This is what I did.

SPEAKER_02 54:19

I said, Well, I'm gonna go home. We would talk later. That's obedience. That's obedience. I said, because this is what he's not gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 54:30

He done turned the dot on.

SPEAKER_02 54:31

He's not about to not gonna talk or pray me out of my panties. I got to go.

unknown 54:37

Now.

SPEAKER_02 54:38

See you later.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

Hey, whoever he did the better.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

I woke up with him on my mind. It was relevant enough for me to bring it up here again on the pie.

SPEAKER_00 54:48

Mm-hmm. So when y'all won out next.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

You know, he he had asked me out on our first date. That wasn't a date. We was just a conversation. And the first date is a vacation. Shut up. I knew you was gonna look like that. Hey Doc, what's going on? What's going on? I'm just saying, first date vacation? First date is a is because as a vacation. I was we're talking, we were talking about why you're ready to get married and these things. And I was like, oh my God, I'm on my face.

SPEAKER_00 55:16

First date is a vacation. I said my mind. You talk about people moving fast.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

What's fast about it?

SPEAKER_00 55:22

He don't want them draws.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

What he wants and what he gets are two different things. And hold on, watch this.

SPEAKER_00 55:28

Come on now.

SPEAKER_02 55:29

Watch this. Conversation, transparency. Ladies, don't be afraid to tell a man you are not into casual sex. Do not be afraid. And actually, I act, I offer that you say, if I go on this vacation, I have no intention on doing X, Y, and Z. Be very fair and open and honest with that man because he has every right to say, Well, then I don't want to do vacation with you. It doesn't make anybody wrong, it makes everybody adult grown. And it's about honesty. Okay, equally, I've had a guy I was talking to months ago offer a vacation. And we have gone on multiple dates and had spent time together, have been months, and I denied it. And he kept asking, like, let's go on vacation. I just want to take you on vacation. Everyone loves vacations. I love this. But I, you know, specifically said no, because two things. I didn't want to be intimate, not sexually. I'm not talking about sex and intimacy, two different things. I did not want to be intimate or sexual with him. But I definitely didn't want to be intimate. Even if I'm not sexual with you, vacation, there's going to be intimate moments. Intimacy meaning holding hands or, you know, having talking or sleeping in the same bed, whatever that looks like.

SPEAKER_01 56:40

Right.

SPEAKER_02 56:42

This man, when I was speaking and said, Hey, I've been on my book tour, I've been on my speaking tour, you know, I think on a little, I think a little, need a little vacation. And it was just out of me speaking, but being honest about any vacation, he was like, okay, well, how about this? Let me take you on a day on a vacation. And so I was like, okay. That was after we had already spent days talking about, I'm not into casual sex, talking about how at his age, now when he was younger, I'm sure he moved differently, how at his age, he equally is not a man who has an interest in just sleeping with the woman because where he's at, he's he's 50. Let me just say his age, so people get a context, okay? Where he's at, which is that 50 year old mark for most men, is when they are finally ready to get married. Not just verbally, but usually through experience. I don't know what takes y'all Negro so long.

SPEAKER_00 57:32

I'm I'm gonna just be honest because I feel like the older I get, the casual sex is just not there no more.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

Can I ask how old you are?

SPEAKER_00 57:38

I'm 34.

SPEAKER_02 57:39

Okay, the reason why I want you to say this is because when I'm saying this as a woman, a lot of men are gonna say, Cap, the ones who are young and don't get it.

SPEAKER_00 57:47

Nah, I get it. Like when I was young, I want the layer and spread. But as the older I get, it's like, baby, I don't want you in my space like that. Like, I don't even want them type of problems or your type of energy or your type of nightmare. I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 57:59

Like, I and I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

But this type of age, younger me? Shit, I didn't give a damn. What the biggest thing is.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

But you're just no, you're mature for your age because 34 is young for you to be already thinking on that trajectory. This man's 50. And he's like, listen, and he's handsome, so I'm sure he had his choices. So my point is that vacation thing came after him sharing and us sharing a lot of information and talking, communication is important, and transparency, and him saying, Look, at my age, you know, I wouldn't even want a vacation or sleep with a woman. That's a waste of time. He's like, I'm working, I'm running businesses. If I'm gonna be taking time out, I wanted to be with the woman who I know. There's a possibility that I could marry her, you know, have a family. He's never been married. So this is something that's big for him. So for me, in my spirit, I felt like, you know what? Okay, maybe I'll consider that as our first date because there was a comfort there. We are very open about not wanting to engage in casual sex. And so if it continues, yeah, your doc will be on a vacation for her first date. Who knows? How that might turn out. But I know I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 58:58

Doc about to get served, y'all.

unknown 59:00

Who cooking though?

SPEAKER_02 59:01

Who's gonna be cooking?

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Doc about to get served. He might, he might have seen you at that Jeezy concert. But you was outside. What was going on, doc?

SPEAKER_02 59:11

What part? Which one? I just left another Jeezy concert in Pittsburgh.

SPEAKER_00 59:15

I'm just saying it was like see-through going on.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

Was it see-through?

SPEAKER_00 59:19

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 59:20

You you brought it up. Was it see-through?

SPEAKER_00 59:22

I think it was.

SPEAKER_02 59:23

Was it lace?

SPEAKER_00 59:23

Yep, something like that. Oh, shoot. They said the doc, hold on.

SPEAKER_02 59:27

They said it was a black tie affair. That one black tie. I had a train. There was a long lace train.

SPEAKER_00 59:39

It was giving.

SPEAKER_02 59:40

It was giving what?

SPEAKER_00 59:41

It was giving.

SPEAKER_02 59:41

Giving what?

SPEAKER_00 59:42

Say it but come serve me.

SPEAKER_02 59:43

It was giving come serve me?

SPEAKER_00 59:45

Yeah, it was giving, come serve me.

SPEAKER_02 59:47

Well, you know what? I didn't nobody serve or cook that day, that night.

SPEAKER_00 59:51

I know they was in your comments that day. When you posted that picture.

SPEAKER_02 59:56

You know what? I have posted pictures with me fully dressed and gotten just the same amount of attention. The only thing differently about this one was everybody decided to do think tanks. I don't know how much you got to think about an outfit. You're saying it's just all lace and not too much there. How much thinking can you do about it?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:16

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:17

Think tanks, the outfit went viral. I said, oh, I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:22

I mean, it had to go viral. You was serving. You was giving the people a little something. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:29

And guess what?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:31

That's what he probably was like, shit, this time I'm gonna come at her. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

He probably like packed that Jeezy outfit for you. Come, pack that Jeezy one for dinner. As soon as y'all land, Jeezy got away. I have to say this. If I if I was if I woke up and I was going to another event, would I wear that again if I felt like it? Absolutely. I would wear it for it. I would wear it with my husband if he was okay with it to another concert. If he wasn't, and I wouldn't. I'm very submissive like that. But I would wear an outfit similar to that, just like that. I am going to wear and operate in the space that I want to. I will never live in dogma at all. So many people loved it and so many people hated it. But guess who was most importantly needed to like it? Guess who liked it? Guess who approved it? So guess who will do it again? And y'all can think take the hell out of it the second time. Maybe you should figure out what psychologically continues to make me think it's okay to do those things. Go deeper. Don't if you're gonna, if you're gonna do a think take, think. God darn it, think.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:37

You think it's a thin line, though, like business women and when they dress sexy. Like, for you, it's like doctor, you're supposed to be this. He's supposed to wear the blazers, right? You supposed to cover up, and then when you pop out, do you think like it's a fine line between that, or you just like, I don't give a damn?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

I so I think it's subjective. I think that folks who do believe there's a fine line are correct as well. And I think that the people who are saying, I don't give a damn, I'm don't live in dogma, right? I have the opportunity to be all of my moving parts, is they are also right. Um, I think that when people create a persona, or let's just say a brand, because you're talking about professionals, and they put themselves in a box, I think that they cause more scrutiny and even possible depression for themselves. Because now they're always living behind a mask. They always have to be in this box unless they're around their community of close friends and family who really know who they are. And so if you are a real high-level professional, you are spending 90%, if not more, in your career. There's no way that you can be spending 90% of your life in a box behind a mask in fraudulent branding behavior. It just can't work like that. You will demise and dissipate and burn yourself out just for the sake of satisfying people who, if they want your product, are already gonna buy it. If they are your village and your people, they showing up for you. I would rather be who I am and calibrate my village so everybody's free than me live behind a mask and incarceration, which means I have to also then attract the law of attraction. You attract who you are, despite who you think you are. I have to also attract incarcerated people. So we all sitting up here behind masks, talking about we friends. We all sitting here behind masks, talking about we married. What? The fuck we won't do that. One thing everybody will know when they get me is they got Dr. Cheyenne Bryant in the fullness of who I am. Now, maybe I may pick certain parts that I may not want to just show up in that moment, because maybe in that moment that's not appropriate for what we're talking about. But when it comes to me being me, I will. The only time I have to say this that I do shift in how I dress or how I'm showing up is if I know I'm in a room full of men who are married. Like if I'm going to speak at a couple's retreat, right? And it's all couples. If I'm going to my girlfriend's house and her husband's there, I'm very aware of what I have on because I respect women. I respect relationships. And for me, I would want that same respect for me and mine. So that's when I'm very, very aware. But if I'm out in the public in the open, oh no, I'm gonna wear what I want. And I'm okay with it. I'm comfortable. I work out five days a week. Shoot, I I I provide and serve people. I'm the the best in my field, I'm the most sought-out psychology expert life coach in the world. I put in my work, I serve God. You know, I meditate, I pray, I'm a good person. My heart posture is right. If y'all don't like the way the external, the external physical posture is posturing, then that's your problem. Everything else is aligned.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

Yeah, you definitely saw it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:55

But if my husband said, now don't do that, y'all won't see that outfit again. I'm gonna have to hang it up. Only he's gonna see it when it's him and I on vacation or him and I in the bedroom. If he said, baby, now listen, I understand you did that in your Jeezy days. But this is your roof days. I am gonna obey my boass and say, baby, don't worry about it. I'll just go in and glean in the field in my sweatsuit.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:19

No problem.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:20

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:20

But if he say pop out, do you want to pop out?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:25

It's a question people wanted to they wanted me to ask you, right? About just being a therapist. Are you licensed?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:33

Um, so we won't go deep into that.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:37

But I'm a life coach and a psychology expert. And so you do not have to be licensed to be a psychology expert or life coach.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:44

Um, and so I'm not. When I worked under a license, under means I'm working under a supervisor's license. That does not mean that you work with a license. A lot of people don't know terminology. And again, people who are set out to not like you are going to not like you. And so they're looking for things that they can confuse themselves on and attempt to confuse others to create this chaos around a false narrative. And so what I do, which is a psychology expert and a life coach, I don't need a license because I don't diagnose. I never had a desire to. I don't treat. I never had a desire to. And I have clients. I don't have patience. And so with therapists, they treat, they diagnose, they bill insurance, and they have patience. A life coach does not do any of those. And I don't have patience. I have clients. And so I don't treat. I don't lead with that. My marketing material clearly says, hey, book a life coaching session. My website says it. Um, and um, so no, what I do, I don't, it doesn't require me to have it, but also in obtaining my education, um, I didn't have a desire to. My master's is in marriage, family, and child therapy. And so during that curriculum, I did practicum. You know, I worked under a license once I graduated from my master's as a MFT, um, but not as an LMFT. Two different things. MFT is marriage family child therapist. L MFT is licensed marriage family child therapist. Um, and so no, I never had a desire to get license. It it never was something that I wanted to do, even in even in school. And I even explained that to professors, then they're like, oh, really? You know, why not? Cheyenne? And I said, because that's not the practice that I want to be in. And so a practice just means um how you are practicing professionally. You can practice as a therapist or you can practice as a life coach. I practice as a life coach. Is that clear to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:47

Yeah, it's clear to me. It's just people hating on you.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:50

Well, we talked about that, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:51

It's just people hating on you, creating these false narratives, and they just mad because you the number one seeked out life coach in the world. Say it again, say it again for people in the back. Um I mean, you the number one seeked out life coach in the world, and they just hating on you. And it's crazy because it's a lot of men, and y'all need to stop it because this queen over here is from the hood, it's from the ghetto, who's been the trauma, who has overcame a lot, and y'all need to cut it the fuck out. I'm I'ma just be frank with y'all. And and us men, we need to hold other men accountable. Protect ours. Protect our queens. That shit is goofy. Cut it the fuck out. All right. So, yeah, and it's been great.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:30

No, you're not, you're not gonna say all that. Oh, you show up as a man's man, show up as a boass, right? And have, you know, your beautiful woman sitting in this room. And beautiful. Beautiful woman. I'm saying this because I'm going getting somewhere with this, and still be able to stand on your square and vertical as a man to protect another woman, especially a black woman in front of her. That's a man. And I'm not saying that because you protected me, that's a man who's not hiding his hand. You did it in front of her. Which means that the protection she gets is on the next level. And I love that. And I agree with you. Um, and I'll land on this. That's what I was referring to earlier when I said it be the people you serve. It's the people you're on the front line for, it's the people you're on the mountaintop for who will turn around and go, Oh, wait a minute. I seen you on the mountaintop serving me. And while I was looking at you serve me, I was eating what you were serving. But I secretly wanted to be on that mountaintop. I wanted to be in your position. I wanted to be the one serving. The more you fed me, the more jealous I got. The more you fed me, the more envious I got. So you thinking you feeding me so I can join you, I'm feeding you so I can take your position. And I'm here to say, you can't take what God gave me. It ain't your territory. You can come and attempt to. But if you know David, he had a slingshot. And if you want to be my Goliath, baby, I don't mind pulling back. Because when that thing hits you, we know what happened with David. God made him king and gave him more territory. I have no problem with that. So I thank you though, King Black man, for having my back and showing that protection because more men need to do that with us women, especially us black women. We don't have to be in bed with you or be your woman for you to do that. So that felt good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:28

Absolutely. Hey, listen, I uh yeah, I'm just gonna challenge other men to step up for real, because we need it. Y'all need it. You know what I mean? And we need that unity and that protection because we already know what we're facing outside of our race. What the fuck are we doing?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:42

Like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:44

Absolutely. What's next for the doc, man, besides the vacation?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:48

Next is, you know, besides my case.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:52

What they said, hold on, where y'all go with?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:54

He's we're trying to figure it out. He's trying to figure it out. Wherever he wants to take me.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:58

Ooh, boy.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:58

Wherever he wants to take me. I know. I know. No service. Maybe I might come back with a husband. No service.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:09

Let me go to a place where she can't talk to nobody.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:12

At all. And I probably like it. I have my phone over there anyways. No reception. But what's next for me, besides, you know, I want to say what's next for me is I'm still gonna serve my people. I'm still gonna serve the people also who are attempting to crucify me. I'm still gonna serve him because that is the mission and assignment God has me on. And so with the right heart posture, I'm not gonna get off my mountaintop. I'm not gonna get off my high horse because I work too hard to get up here. What I will continue to do is teach people how to get up on the high horse with me and then teach them how not to waver in well-doing. And I will continue to help that folks come up on this mountaintop with me so we can continue to serve our people. Because what's needed is people like myself to show folks that you don't buckle in the crucifixion. You keep carrying your cross. It doesn't matter how many witnesses you have, because allow them to witness your resurrection. And I want to make sure I continue to represent that. Let them talk, let them chatter. You just stay in your assignment and you stay in what my book is called, in living your promise. You don't allow people to take you back to a wilderness that they never were there to help you get through. Ever. So I will continue to serve, and I like that this is going on because it's showing people how sturdy oak I am, how vertical I really am, and how my principles that I stand on work. And those principles are in my book, Live Your Promise, that launches May 12th. You can get it on all platforms where books are sold, print books, audiobooks, all of that stuff, y'all. Listen, uh, if there's anything that you are going through that has you in a wilderness, my book, Live Your Promise, teaches you how to identify those things. It teaches you how to be in your wilderness and how it is okay. The wilderness is just your process. It's it's it's where Moses had the Israelites when he freed them from the Egyptians. Um, it shows you that when they got to the Red Sea, no matter how rocky things were, no matter how afraid they were, that the Egyptians were closing in on them, God opened the Red Sea on dry land, on dry land so that there was no residue from your past on your feet. But when you get across the Red Sea, unlike the Israelites, my book teaches you that at that point, God should have made you a believer. That you should then say, I believe in your promises. I believe in what you can do for me, and I know that there is a promised land for me. And in that, God matches your will. He matches how you view things. The wilderness in the promised land is just a mindset. It is up to us to choose which one we're gonna be in in this moment. It's not a destination. You're not on your way there. So you can be in your wilderness, and that's okay. Process through your healing journey. But understand and believe there is a promise that you can live in right now, today. And my book gives you all those tools. It holds your hands through it. I have two kits at the end of every chapter that not just tells you what the tool is, but how to do it and how to use it. So super excited about this new book. Um, y'all, go get it.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:18

I love it. Hey, listen.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:19

He has one right here, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:21

Absolutely. Live your promise, y'all. And y'all are living proof. And y'all heard today from somebody who was absolutely living proof. Again, May 12th, live your promise, right? Don't get it just because she's a black woman. Get it because you're gonna use it, get it because you need it, get it because you want to live your promise, and that promise to you is everything to you, right? So listen, today was absolutely amazing. I hope y'all enjoyed it. It's the Living Proof podcast. If Doc ain't living proof of a lot of things, and we ain't gonna go to it. When she comes back, we might get a little messy. But again, live your promise, y'all. You're living proof. It's another episode. I'm out. Let's get it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:03

Yes, thank you for having me. This is amazing. Yes.